fxckmestilettos

i think i had the best birthday ever.
me and amanda went out at midnight and bought cigarettes... just cause i can. and we got some black and milds and drove around lookin all gangsta. it was fun. then we woke up and went shopping. then we went and got out hurr did. my hurr kicks everyone elses hurrs ass. i ♥ it. after that i went and got all inked up and pierced. ill post pics soon. i still have alot more to do on it but one or two more sessions and itll be done. i cant wait. so me amanda came to my house after that annnd my parents totally bought me a mu' fuckin' laptop. i was soooo surprised. so after that i went to the show and it was amazing. fall of the fatalist did an aaaaaammmmmaaaaazzzzing job. i love those guys. like alot. this is renaissance was quite amazing too. jack glandon totally made my night because hes pretty much the funniest fucker i know. it was fun having the same birthday as him. anyway, thats all for now. im having a little get together tonight but a total of 6 people are coming so far. and i bet thats all the shows up. oh well.

ahhh i cant sleeep. and i have to go to school in like 3 and a half hours. i aint goin damnit. i have too much shit on my mind. maybe thats why i cant sleep. i got written up for skipping 3rd period so hopefully ill get oss and i wont have to go to school for a couple days. that would be amazing.

i havent talked to tony since the party. i went to his house saturday and he was sleeping... he woke up and i still didnt talk to him. AT ALL. like not even hey... nothing. im pretty sure hes pissed at me and ive never seen tony pissed at anyone. i dont know what to do. i know if i break up with him hes gonna be super down and i reaaaally dont wanna do that to him. i guess thats why i havent talked to him. i cant keep dating him if i dont feel it though. i wanna feel it but i cant make myself. all i want is for him to be happy. i care about him more than anything. i love that boy to death. hes gonna hate me. i knew this would happen. i think i got my feelings confused. he was always there for me when i needed anything. hes listened to me cry and cry and cry. everyday over the summer we were together. i took it as him being my best friend and he fell in love with me. god someone tell me what to do. everyone is telling me that i need to date him but i want to make my decision based on what is going to make me happy. ive gotta get myself straightened out sooner or later. hopefully he'll understand but i doubt it. these things are hard to understand.

i looooove drum and bass. ive been listening to it for about three hours... talking to chris. i wish every night could be like this in a way. i wish i never had to go to school.

i think 2nd semester im going to center school. if i dont i probably wont graduate. its gonna be teh shit. 3 hours a day and a part time job. amazing.

so friday im goin to get inked up at 4. i cant waaaaait. someone has to come with me and hold my hand. not really cause im scared... i just want a hot man there. corey has part of my shit drawn up and its bad ass. whoop whoop.

friday friday friday is gonna be amazing. no school for me (but what else is new) i have noooo idea what im doing all day. if anyone wants to hang then holla. tattoo at 4. then the show at the corner lounge. then mat's. yeah boy. fun times.

oh well im gonna go listenin to chris' shiiiiit.

peace killas.

why does phil collins always know whats up? i love him.
this song makes perfect sense.



You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to tell you it'll all work out alright

Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away

You can look at him the way you did me
And hold him close say you're never letting go
But any fool can see you're fooling yourself
But you ain't fooling me

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away

And don't pack my suitcase, I'll be back
And don't take my pictures off a' the wall
Oh, did you hear me?
Don't let him change a thing 'cos I'll be back
Jus tell him to pack his things and get out of your life
And just give me one more chance
I'll show you I'm right, I'm right

'Cos I've been thinking and I know it was me leaving you lonely
But hoping you could be strong
But could you look at me straight
Tell me what else can I do but say I was wrong?

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away

Well he's gonna try to make it work for you
Make you think your whole life's been leading to this
But whatever you do
Think about me and don't be fooled by his kiss

And don't let him steal your heart away
Please, don't let him steal your heart away

And don't pack my suitcase, I'll be back
And don't take my pictures off a' your wall
Oh, did you hear me?
Don't let him change a thing 'cos I'll be back
Jus tell him to pack his things and get out of your life
And just give me one more chance
I'll show you I'm right
You know I'm right

You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to say don't you worry it'll all be alright
But he's no good for you
He'll make you think your whole life's been leading to this
And whatever you do
Think about me, oh, and don't be fooled by his kiss

im so confused.

i guess ill figure it out though.

the one girl that i thought was my best friend is a backstabbing cunt.
too bad she was about to get on my last nerve anyway.
shes done it now though and things will NEVER EVER be the same no matter what.

im dating tony but i dont think that i can.
i want to so he'll be happy but i have other things to worry about now.
i need to work out my problems and make myself happy before i can be happy with anyone else.

yeah so thats all.

thank you jack, aaron, cody, nathan, and anyone else who put up with my bullshit last night.
i love you all.

so apparently im an alcoholic tattooed pin cushion.

hahahahahahaha too bad im not tattooed yet faggot.

i hate arguing with people but that was amazing.

this came from someone who's mission in life is to be sid vicious...

so he can SUCK IT.

so susie didnt go to school today.
i was in a shitty mood so i decided to stay home and clean out my nasty room.
i think im a little hungover.
i got drunk saturday night...
i was drunk when i woke up.
then i started drinking again after i woke up so i was pretty much drunk all weekend.
thats always good.
between the buried and me is amazing.
if you dont have alaska then get the shit.
annnd my heart belongs to into the moat.
yeaaaaah boy.
well im gonna go clean some more.
peace killas.

ill never say anything in my livejournal ever again that may offend someone.
good god.
sorry i "start drama".
sorry i get my feelings hurt when im lied to.
but ill never let anyone know again.
that should solve everyones problem.

alright. so im dating shane again and i really have no idea why.
i broke up with him because he was getting on my nerves and because i wanted someone else.
i cant ever get anyone else though so it looks like ill just put up with his lameage until i cant stand it anymore. am i a bitch for leading him on? dont know...dont really care.
im sick of everything. i hope i graduate.
i have 3 Cs and a B. thats better than my 3 Fs last semester.
so my birthday is in 2 weeks from tomorrow.
i cant wait.
me and melissa are skipping school.
theeen im goin to the mall to get something new to wear.
theeen im goin to get my tattoo. =)
if i have enough money im gettin a monroe and my septum pierced while im there.
i hope i dont die.
i think the day before im goin to get my hair did so ill be lookin good.
lets see. the night of my birthday im goin to the show.
i wish melissa could get in somehow. =(
i guess i might go to jack's party but for some reason im pretty sure no one wants me there.
blaaaaaaaaaaaah. me and brittney are goin to tha club that night.
haha. its gonna be great.
i have to be drunk or ill probably hate it.
anyway. time for school.

no one comments on my journal anymore...bitches.

Dont talk down to me.
Dont be polite to me.
Dont try to make me feel nice.
Dont relax.
Ill cut the smile off your face.
You think i dont know whats going on.
You think im afraid to react.
The jokes on you.
Im biding my time,
looking for the spot.
You think no one can reach you,
noone can have what you have.
Ive been planning while youre playing.
Ive been saving while youre spending.
The game is almost over so its time you acknowledge me.
Do you want to fall not ever knowing who took you?


im hurt goddamnit.

so lets see i dont think much has happend lately.
umm, i broke up with shane because he was killing me...
ive been lied to yet again.
im not surprised.
umm, i like this guy but i dont really know him very well yet but im working on it.
he's hellllla fine.
he goes to farragut though so who knows how that will work out.
im just gonna let it go and whatever happens, happens.
im sick of trying and being let down.
im out of cigarettes and it really sucks.
maybe i should quit.
naaaaah.
i kicked some ass at the show the other night.
usually when people run their mouths i dont really care.
the guy basically called me fat though and im really self conscience about that.
so yeah.
i punched him in the face.
knuck if you buck boy.

i think thats all for now.